in response to a session i received i was asked to comment on whether i felt in charge of the dance that was my experience or whether i felt lead through the process and that brought up an entire amazing epiphany and reanalysis of my own work and body, mind, spirit integration and i wanted to share some thoughts. for me the dance of change/life/bodywork came down to 3 things: confidence, trust, and surrender.
yep those easy things: confidence, trust, and surrender.
it's about confidence
i get when we are beginning learning we often push a lot more than is necessary because we think we have to. we don't yet trust ourselves and the body under us (or the task) and we get impatient and believe we have to be doing instead of allowing and listening and observing and holding.
i remember the first reflexology session where i was paid and how much work i did and how little allowing there was. i never stopped moving-not for more than a few seconds because i was afraid to be caught not doing something and potentially having the client get mad at me and refuse to pay. somehow when working i forgot how nice it was to receive. i forgot how powerful the pause is, how the client can sink in deeper and how it allows me space to re-group and see the next step. the pause allows the body to shift and for me to then respond appropriately.
space allows breath which allows inspiration which allows confident action.
the confidence comes from learning that when we push we loose connection and when we loose connection we scurry around trying to find it instead of opening and allowing it to find us.
this applies to bodywork, to tarot, to filing your taxes, to cleaning your house. we are all always in a dance with energy and the more we can sit back and listen to what is around us the more we can have it shift without forcing it to be any different than it is.
making things change, force, in my experience, always comes with a bit of exhaustion, some rebellion and a good bit of discomfort. and yet i cannot stop doing in my life. but that's ok we are still young and have time to learn that love/space/pause is much more effective than force could ever be.
it's about trust
see to me if you are a gifted practitioner you understand both the capacity to lead and to follow and although you may seem to be leading at all times what you are really doing is following. giving the other the confidence boost to lead you without ever letting them know they are successfully leading you to brilliance.
until the dance is done and then you congratulate them on their mastery.
leading from a follow position is tricky.
it takes a lot of skill and time and trust to develop into a practitioner that trusts the information and allows the process to flow from the client
to step more out of the way
to have it be ok to not fix anything
to allow the client to leave disappointed thinking nothing got done
to trust that if you had pushed there would be discomfort and while opening might have occurred, most likely several hours later there would have been closing and that might have hurt more.
it also takes a lot of attention because leading from the follow position requires extreme attention to detail, foot placement and following graciously-even the wrong steps. never can you show hesitation or the illusion is shattered and confidence is lost and the dance interrupted for the moment.
it's about surrender
the ability to let go.
to understand i am not in charge here and this would all work so much better if i just stepped out of the way now.
to know in stepping out of the way you are surrendering to the divine and that everything is fine.
to allow yourself to be clumsily pushed around, until you can gracefully learn to follow and in that moment transform the fumbling into flowing beauty.
to understand that although you are getting paid to do a thing-what you are actually getting paid to do is help magnify a quality you understand in another. you are a spark and once you have illuminated you step aside and let things happen on their own.
there is no agenda
but if i was to state my agenda for every session i do it would be this:
may you find connection may you see and feel love and know it heals everything may you trust that you are more than enough may you someday see the divine with in yourself