i have a couple of amazing friends and clients who are playing at the job search thing. as i was weeding in my garden yesterday i had all these conversations in my head... there is no way i can recreate the event in an intelligent conversation so i am just going to put my rambly thoughts here.
statement overheard: i don't fit in, i don't look like what anyone wants
first off my heart breaks, i am so sorry that this experience has triggered so much pain. i hear you and i ache to comfort that piece.
second i truly don't believe this is a handicap unless you make it one. why would you want to be a bland horrid job description. i understand you think this is what the company is seeking because that is what the company thinks it's seeking but really it's not. the company is asking for a boring list of blah in the attempts to weed people out and clarify aspects of the job it needs fulfilled. what a delight to know that you can also do a,b and c.
the stuck seems to be getting past your initial resistance. being willing to bend the rules. being willing to shine. being willing to claim what you do know, and can do, and how you can make their lives better by showing up to work every day.
so what if you are mediocre at this, what about how you did that and made life better for someone.
no you don't look like the job description.
because you are so much more.
yes, that makes you look different but how can you re-frame different in your mind to not be BAD because that is what it feels like. it feels like you believe different is bad. and i would argue adamantly that different is what will set you apart. and makes you a highly desirable and sought after prospective employee. (but you know this inside)
know that what you have to offer and your amazing life experiences are unique and insightful. claim them instead of looking at them as a hindrance. because if you can't claim those things in joy no one else will either.
bend the description to encompass you, see past the words to the essence of the job, and claim your unique life and skill set. stop using it as a crutch. own it and make it work for you.
those companies need you, you don't need them. find your inner superhero and let them fill out your resume.
statement: i'm not worth as much money
i hear the pain, the insecurity and the hurt but i need to call bull shit.
i want to acknowledge and cuddle that fear voice and allow it to sit in this most difficult place. i want to say i hear you, and i am sorry that the world is so scary and hard. that things will be ok, and that you are worth so much more.
money is not a reflection of what you have to offer this world.
and if you get over the belief that the skills you have to offer are worth nothing, well then hopefully you can attract a job where good money can be made.
don't fall victim to our societies warped sense of worth. you are worth way more than anyone could ever pay you. we barter our skills for money so that we may change the world. know this, figure out how much it takes to change the world in the ways you desire and allow the money to seek you out.
your job is only one of the ways in which you can engage with money. so don't worry if it's not paying you more than basic needs.
statement: i have nothing lined up... i have no idea what to pursue.
ahhh i so so dislike this place of scarcity and fear.
to sit here in this place is so terrifying. i see this and have felt this and know it's a place i loath. so i hear you, but my own discomfort with this place is so huge that i push you away so as not to trigger those feelings within myself.
so just for a moment i will sit here and inhabit this pain. and with tears running down my face i will share this uncertainty that taints everything... this hopelessness and fear, this self loathing.
and i will pray and ask to find grounding, and try to remember to breathe.
and from this dark place i will send you a little light in the hopes that it can begin to illuminate your way.
as i sit with and acknowledge my own pain may it be a catalyst to allow others to sit in theirs. for when we allow the hopelessness to encompass us, we find amazing strength, clarity and a stronger hope than we ever knew possible.
in most cases when we sit with our darkness it does not entirely consume us... although sometimes it does for a long while. there may be a lot to process. be gentle.
your talents, skills and what you have to offer this world are immense. i hold for each of you that you can begin to see this and that you can claim a little piece of the easy life while you continue your growth.
there is nothing about seeking a job that is about the job.
please remember you are valuable, unique in all this world and loved. the only reason you need a job is so that you can continue your growth. in all ways our jobs allow us to continue to work on ourselves and our ability to be in relationship.
please feel free to break all the rules. to shine. and to claim your heart, for although you might think it unnecessary it is required, if you can't give your heart to the job there is no point.
all of you are so amazing. may you see this, even if it is just through my eyes.