so being self employed you get the health plan that costs as little as possible and will make it so if something does happen you won't go bankrupt quiet as fast. which also means you rarely visit the doctor.
which means that you wait until you realize you've kind felt rundown and like crap for about 6 months before you make yourself an appointment.
where you realize it has been 4 years since your last blood draw.
where you found out you were still anemic (this has been a 20 year+ issue) and should regularly take iron supplement as you hate eating cows.
but you got busy and forgot to buy more like 3 and a half years ago.
and so when you get your results back and you have a count of 6 out of 60-80 range you are sorta surprised and then super thankful that it's not you-it's just your poor bodies struggling to survive.
it's not that you suddenly became forgetful, or dumb, or lazy, or any of the other stories you'd been thinking up.
it's that you body is starving.
go kill a cow and eat it all, it says. but boy the only beef i can stand is hamburgers-i'm gonna get fat on hamburgers (no we can also eat lots of black beans and the dark greens we have been eating lots of, and molasses and Ethiopian food! yay weekly Ethiopian food!)
or eat that dirt in the garden, or those rusty nails you just pulled out of the old fence. we could chew on those too. yeah, when you have the desire to stick that in your mouth-something is off.
the beauty of figuring out there is an actual problem, but a very fixable one is remarkable.
but then it leads to the excuse making, i don't wanna get up i'm iron depleted. i can think my brain isn't getting enough iron. it's hard to exercise when you are deficient.
oh amy! you can stop now. we hear you.
in faery lore there is a strong belief that faeries hate iron. so my thought pattern immediately goes like this:
how can i talk to faeries if i am all full of iron (umm-how can you talk to them if you are lying in a heap sleeping?)
what if they stop liking me because i am to iron-ey, irony, full of iron? (i think it's the hard metal bits they hate and not the organic bits of iron.)
oh no what if they all go away (maybe the opposite will happen and because you are more full of life and vitality they will actually help you and talk to you even more.)
so yeah i think the excuses will stop.
so far i am day three into operation supplement. day 2 had much head-achy-ness and today i just feel a bit more real. like if you poked me i wouldn't dissolve, which i did not even realize i was feeling before.
yay iron! yay health! yay body!